January 2012
42 posts
phiLOLZophy: A Letter To My Best Friend's Ex →
philolzophy:
In general I consider anger to be an immature emotion. It’s just so caveman-y, you know? I earnestly think about wars or some dude yelling at me and feel like ‘really?’ You look like you are on Judge Judy. But when it comes to guys dicking over my friends, I’m just as guilty. I maybe (definitely) told you that you better “pray every night” you never run into me again and um that...
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Clarification: missionaries
It’s not that I think missionaries are literally rude. In fact, most of the ones I’ve met are the kindest, most open-hearted people you’ll ever meet in your life. They do good works, much more than I have ever done, and that I respect. There is a lot to be learned from them. What I mean by “rude” is the idea that one religion trumps another and that one should travel...
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“What we from our point of view call colonization, missions to the heathen,...”
– Carl Jung (via cultureofresistance)
In an international relationships class at my super conservative-Christian university, I once referred to missionaries and missions trips as “intolerant and rude.” There was an awkward silence and everyone stared at me, including my prof, who did...
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A found poem from the Dominican
The air is blunt when I need sharp and it rolls around in my mouth too thick and it fills up my throat and I can’t swallow and my lungs don’t believe me when I say yes this is air we can breathe it we can but this isn’t air; it is heat and water and worry and we can’t breathe it. we can’t and the heat isn’t heat (really, it’s not. you have to be here to...
yearslater:
rachelannsaid replied to your post: I had Indian food twice in one week, which goes against my healthy eating plan but I don’t care because it is so good omg you don’t even know
I work in a Chinese restaurant (don’t worry, we don’t serve cats/dogs or insects) and they’re going to open an Indian restaurant soon. Can’t wait!
well you’re missing out. as a Chinese person, I can tell...
Me, invariably, every month
andeventhis:
“Why am I so hungry?”
“Why do I want to eat ALL THE CHOCOLATE?”
“Ugh, why am I so bloated?”
“Are my boobs getting bigger??!?”
Then, a week later:
“Ohhhhhhhhhh. Oh, right, yeah. Okay.”
Being a woman fail.
GPOY.
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Saviour come my way.: The Kiss →
neonmedusa:
by Anne Sexton
My mouth blooms like a cut. I’ve been wronged all year, tedious nights, nothing but rough elbows in them and delicate boxes of Kleenex calling crybaby crybaby, you fool!
Before today my body was useless. Now it’s tearing at its square corners. It’s tearing old Mary’s garments off, knot by knot and see — Now it’s shot full of these electric bolts. Zing! A...
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andeventhis replied to your post: New Year’s Resolutions
I always say “chicken lay eggs” so that I remember it needs an object. Good luck on the rest of your resolutions and Happy New Year!
And 2012 is off to a great start thanks to SJ.
New Year's Resolutions
A list by Sharla:
1. Make my bed every day. Or as close to every day as possible. Hell, twice a week. No, wait, I’m an adult now; it really should be every day. Yeah, ok, every day.
2. Actually spend time doing my hair (Brushing it does not count. Ponytails do not count. Shaking it around majestically as I towel-dry does not count).
3. Learn all the words to “One Week” by the...
December 2011
34 posts
Talking cellphones with senior citizens
Him (strong British accent): I've got one of those blue things in my car for driving.
Me: Bluetooth?
Him: That's it. Bluetooth. By the way, people in this area are crazy. I try to tell them what numbers to call but they never understand me. They're deaf or crazy.
Me: It's actually just a computer. Voice recognition is just a computer program on your phone.
Him: Oh. Well, where do these Bluetooth fellows broadcast from anyway?
Me: Hm? What do you mean?
Him: They come in through my car speakers. Where do they broadcast from? Ontario? Montreal?
Me: ...
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everyone else: i'm getting an ipad and a laptop and $300 worth of clothes and...
me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK